Seen and Loved | Hazel’s Journey from Narcissistic Abuse to Healing 

Hazel met her husband in a running club, and their love story seemed like a fairytale. He showered her with gifts, heartfelt gestures, and public displays of affection. To the world, he was the perfect man—thoughtful, charming, and endlessly devoted. To Hazel, he was the love she had been searching for her whole life.

But as time went on, cracks began to appear beneath the surface. The man who once made her laugh now made her cry with his abusive words. The affection that had once felt so abundant began to fade. It was now showered on other women. Conversations became shallow, and when expressing concerns of the heart, he would change the subject or walk away. 

And then, the isolation began.

The Slow Process of Control | What started as subtle disapproval of her friends turned into outright criticism. He convinced her they weren’t good for her. The same happened with her family. Slowly, Hazel’s world shrank and she felt completely alone. 

He built a cocoon around her—one of dependency, confusion, and self-doubt. And she stayed, because she had been groomed to believe that he loved her. The abuse and control ramped up over time without Hazel even being aware. And when his words cut her like a knife, he showed no remorse and seemed to enjoy it. Everyone around continued to see them as the perfect couple. 

Then, in 2017, her husband passed away.

At his funeral, person after person came up to her, telling her how wonderful he was. They shared how he always made them laugh, how he was so welcoming, and that they had the best marriage. And in that moment, she nodded, agreeing with them. Not because it was true, but because he had brainwashed her to believe it was true. 

A Season of Loss and Revelation | Just months after her husband’s passing, Hazel’s world was shaken again. Within a short period, she lost three sisters—one to a brain aneurysm, one to COPD, and one unexpectedly. The people closest to her were gone. Grief overwhelmed her, but through it all, the Lord sustained her. 

With the encouragement of friends, she sought counseling through Grace Church. As she approached the end of her counseling, something unexpected happened. On their wedding anniversary four years after his death, she became depressed not knowing why. Then after seeking the Lord, He began to reveal the truth about her husband and her marriage. God slowly showed her the truth but never revealed more than He would provide healing for. God was so patient. 

She realized it wasn’t love. It was control. 

The memories that had once been buried under years of conditioning resurfaced. She remembered the way he would build himself up in public but tear her down in private. She recalled the way he twisted every situation to make himself the victim and how he convinced her that questioning him was impossible—because, in his eyes, he was perfect. 

She began to learn about narcissistic abuse—the love-bombing, the emotional manipulation, the isolation tactics. It all made sense. The façade had finally shattered. 

The Journey to Healing | For nearly a year, Hazel walked through a deep healing process. Through counseling, prayer, and community, she untangled the lies she had been told. She found safety in sharing her truth with someone who listened, even if they had never personally experienced abuse themselves. 

And slowly, God rebuilt her identity. He showed her that she was not invisible, that she was not just an extension of someone else’s image. She was Hazel—seen, valued, and loved by her Creator. 

As she emerged from healing, she found a new purpose. Grace Church became her family, embracing her as she had once embraced others. She poured herself into ministry, serving, loving, and encouraging those who were walking their own paths of healing. And for the first time in years, she felt truly whole. 

Recognizing the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse | One of the hardest parts of narcissistic abuse is that it doesn’t always look like abuse. It’s subtle. It’s disguised as affection, concern, and devotion. But over time, it suffocates, leaving the victim questioning their own reality. If you’re wondering whether you’re in an unhealthy relationship, ask yourself: 

If the answer is no to the first two and yes to the last, it’s time to seek help. 

You Are Not Alone Hazel’s story is one of loss, but it is also one of redemption. Her journey serves as a reminder that abuse, even when masked as love, is not what God intends. He calls His children to be seen, valued, and cherished. 

If you recognize yourself in her story, don’t stay silent. Seek help. Find a trusted counselor, a supportive community, and a God who loves you unconditionally. Healing is possible. Freedom is possible. And like Hazel, you can step into the life God always intended for you—one where you are truly seen and truly loved.