Faith and Comparison

Let’s be honest. Wait,Let me rephrase that. Let ME be honest, sometimes I don’t feel like the most “Christiany”-Christian. Do you ever feel that way? Like, for example, there are newbie Christians who are on fire for the lord and there are the seasoned Christians who can quote scripture for any concern or occasion and pray like words are plucked from the air just ready and waiting for them to turn into poetry. There is the awesome testimony Christian who has had amazing works in their life from God and speak boldly of his love.Then there is the pious Christian, they look and act every bit of what a person of devout Christian faith looks like in the movies, Sunday best, serving with a smile, well behaved, well loved with well dressed kiddos who are humble,serve and read their bibles.

 Then there is me. My newbie fire came and went over 28 yrs ago. I can’t retain scripture to even remember a life verse . My prayers are simple and filled with a ton of “umm’s” and to be honest sometimes I lose track of what I’m praying for in the middle of prayer. I don’t fit the part of piety…at all. Additionally,If I can get my kids to church in something besides athletic wear it’s a huge win.

Sometimes it’s challenging to reconcile my looking glass Christian self that just doesn’t seem to exude “Christianity” with my internal heart that truly does love Jesus but just quietly so. 

Comparison in faith can be a trap if you let it. It can stumble you in your walk or make your own path look less appealing to tread upon. It can hinder your growth or stop it dead in its tracks!  I could be discouraged by my lacking and slack in my purpose (and so often I have been) or I can say “not today Satan!” and trust that I am made on  purpose for a purpose I am not yet privy to when those misaligned machinations begin to take up my mental and emotional space. I may not have quoted words to contribute in a conversation but I can describe the way God’s words feel when I read them.I may not have my fire but I have a peace and a knowing. I may not fit the ideal profile I define as a picture perfect “Christian” but I may be just the right Christian to suit a specific plan of God’s. Yes God can use and still adores even us Wonky ones and I Thank God for that! 

Written by Leeanna Lopez