How does a person find freedom?
According to recent research, here’s what’s happening with internet pornography.
- 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography.
- A significant relationship exists among teens between frequent pornography use and feelings of loneliness, including major depression.
- 56% of divorce cases involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites. In addition, 58% of “sex addicts” suffer considerable financial losses, and about a third lose their jobs.
How does a person find freedom? In her article, Life After Porn: 5 Things My Husband Did to Rebuild Trust, Micah Horner, mom of 4, tells the specific things her husband, Michael, did that helped rebuild her trust. At the root was true brokenness and repentance. She writes, “I had seen lots of tears over the years, but genuine repentance looked very different than anything I had ever seen in him before. No longer was he just sorry he got caught or that he had to face consequences, but he was literally sick over where this addiction had taken him.”
What did he do?
- Commitment to full disclosure
He made the continual choice to wipe the slate clean and repair the foundation that had been cracked with lies.
- Took full responsibility
He no longer tried to minimize, deny, or justify his actions or their consequences. Instead, he took ownership of his actions by humbling himself before his wife and other trusted friends.
- Willingly set up boundaries
- Being accountable to other godly men
- Submitting to godly marriage counseling and cooperating with anything asked of him
- Installing internet protection and not being on an unprotected computer/device
- Changing cell phone number; getting rid of old contacts
- Giving his wife a list of all e-mail accounts and passwords
- Not watching anything that could trigger lustful desires
- Passionately pursued God
Both acknowledged that this was the most important thing he did to rebuild trust. It took no less than the supernatural power of God and two willing hearts to do the tough work of obedience. Despite near destruction, their marriage continues to flourish as Michael continues to walk in purity and submission to the Lord.